Rejoice, my love, that your feet have carried you this far. That the stones that broke your bones remain behind you. That your breath, however short, has sustained you. That the sun has compelled you forward. Rejoice, my love. That you've tasted the blood of tribulation and persevered. That you've stood at the edge and no longer see it as an end. Rejoice, oh broken love. That those fractures in your heart have allowed your light out. That however dark and disparaging your path may be, it is for goodness that you remain. Rejoice. Close your eyes. And let the falling sun warm your face once more.
We knew what we could never comprehend. We witnessed what none other could see. We feared what we could no longer believe. And as the sun set and clouds consumed the sky, we surrendered what could never truly be.
We all grasp the rocks as life flows inexorably away from us. Some to stand on, others to take. Yet as the water rises and urges us to move, we must choose to let go or drown. In the end we all float downstream, it's the resistance that makes us weary.
I speak a lot of flight and freedom. Of burdens and the ties that bind. Yet here I lay unbound, staring through eyes of indifference at the sky above me. Breath after wasted breath, devoid of meaning. Indifferent. No. Not indifference. Fear. It has immobilized me. It has seeped into my veins and planted roots in my brain. It has convinced me that I am not good enough. That I was never meant to fly. That I was always only one of the others. Indifferent. Fear. No. I will cut you out. I will find where you lay and rip you from my being. I will not let you silence me into indifference. For you fear, I offer my violence. For I am greater. And now, now I see you.
To the masochist,
There's an exhilaration I feel when I am deep in the woods. When the trail becomes less obvious, when the way back looks nothing like it did moments before. When the shifting light reveals and obfuscates the paths before you. The analogy to life is indelible. That we should meander down paths until we've lost ourselves. And sometimes when we've gone so far, looking back will only make you stumble. However afraid you are of this alien landscape, however uncanny that feeling is when you can no longer see home, you have to trust that you can follow this journey to it's end. Even if that end isn't the one you envisioned from the start.
It is the very same road that brought me to you that will carry me away.
The world tells me avoidance is peace. Denial is safety. As if the source of your pain were outside of you. I do not see it as such. This delusion empowers the very reality you resist. So I turn my face towards the storm. Eyes open, I lean forward. I will not seek refuge, I will become the rock that bends the river.
In the silence unbroken,
In the words unspoken,
You remain.
In the outline on my wall,
In the promise of a soul,
You remain.
In the scar upon my chest,
In the heart that never rests,
You remain.
The remnants of you,
so much more than a memory;
I need not remember
that which never left.