The most damning lie I have ever believed was that love is violent.
I sought that violence.
I sought that pain.
As if the more I hurt,
the more I gained.

It's taken twenty-nine years less than a lifetime to unlearn this belief.
But every time I learn what love isn't,
I learn what love is.

Anger is the resistance to accept a reality you do not want. Pain is the evidence of this conflict. Be it attrition or annihilation, this is a battle you cannot win.

Healing requires surrender.

Surrender requires courage.

Each new pain, big or small, brings us closer to a new reality;
the only reality.

I watched from the window as the seasons changed and I can no longer deny the truth:

October is gone and winter will not protect me from the cold it creates.